what God has taught me through my solo travels thus far.
Ciao, from a Starbucks in the Munich train station! Gratefully, I was blessed to travel to my new home for the semester around two weeks ago, after an unexpected extra week of winter break spent in my childhood home. For those of you that didn’t know, I caught COVID last second from my family during our time celebrating Christmas in Chicago. At the time, I was more than devastated knowing that I would be stuck in my half empty bedroom while I watched my friends travel together across the world without me. Feelings that mainly stemmed from reasons I had talked about in my last post, regarding my frustration when things don’t go my way. During that week, I was reminded of everything that 2021 had taught me about trust, and learned to fully embrace my extra time of rest with my family at the end of it all.
Then, I was off. Moving most of my belongings to an entirely new continent was not an endeavor I had imagined beginning by myself in any way. I had never taken a flight by myself, let alone an international one. That trip, however, alongside the one I’m in the midst of as I type, taught me more than I thought it would about how I walk through this life with Jesus by my side.
Solo travel is something that is simultaneously exhilarating and terrifying. You’re in a constant state of feeling like the world is your oyster, like you’re the main character in your own movie. On the flip side, however, the number of things that could go wrong are endless, especially when you have no cell service. The first leg of my journey spent in the airport was nothing out of the ordinary. I ended up gaining many friends along the way! One being a new guy friend from Naples, who helped carry my luggage and navigate to the train station once we landed in a place where my inability to read any signs was born.
Study abroad so far has been a dream: one of the shortest and truest responses I can share when friends ask me about my semester. Within my first few weeks, I have traveled to many Italian cities for field trips, somewhat adjusted to the culture here, and begun diving into our our daily classes studying the language, sketching, and designing new things in old spaces. As expected, it took a second to start to adjust to the language barrier, rich foods, and slower pace of living here in Italia, but it’s been a really sweet thing already feeling at home in a place I began my life in.
In between our 8-1 class schedule and meals at the student restaurant and cafes, I’ve had alot of room to dream about actually visiting places I never thought I would have the opportunity to, as well as space to reflect on life in general. I’ve heard before that traveling can be one of your greatest teachers, due to the ways it forces you completely out of your comfort zone, left to navigate the unknown: a reality of our lives that can be quieted when we are numbed by our mundane, as beautiful as it can be. Throw in solo adventures and that fact is magnified comprehensively. Something I had forgotten about, past the excitement of new cultures and experiences, however, was everything behind the scenes. With each travel weekend or field trip to a neighboring Italian city, comes genuine exhaustion. But all of that, I’ve found, is actually pertinent to the entire adventure! It’s been in those times that I have really been able to sit down and ponder it all.
One of those times was this past weekend! Our original class schedule involved a week long field trip to Barcelona, but because all of our professors happened to catch COVID at the same time, we were given a free travel weekend last second. I only began thinking about where I could possibly go that weekend a few days before my departure, one of the many factors that could have saved me some unfortunate events I encountered along the way. After trying to decide whether I should capitalize on 9 Euro plane tickets to Ireland or not, I chose a safer route after thinking about Italy’s COVID protocols on re-entry. Most of my friends were smart by choosing to travel within the country, but my stubborn self was adamant about going on a solo adventure to see my high school friend, Lizzie, in Germany. I heard that traveling by train holds less risk than flying does, so… last second, I booked 2 ten hour train rides through 3 countries I knew not that much about. One of my best ideas, haha.
I think the walk to the train station was when the reality of what I just did started to hit me. Fear sunk in, and my sequence of prayers for safety after every five minutes began. I felt the exact same feelings I did before I drove around the entire state of Florida my freshman summer to surprise most of my college friends, as I heard the same kinds of things from friends about my decision to go. My mentality when it comes to these kinds of things is “okay…but why not?”, which may not be wise, but I will say, I have gained some pretty impactful life lessons along the way! (don’t hear me saying follow my example though haha). I just had this strong confidence that the Lord would take care of me through every single step. I was able to have a 72-hour long conversation with God, between all of the almost empty train stations and being stranded on the streets of Austria. I don’t regret a single second of it.
Sitting on that first train, I was in heaven, doing my quiet time as I cruised past the Swiss Alps that sat only miles outside of my window. Everything was fine and dandy until the sun went down and we sat at this one stop longer than we had at any other. I remember an older gentleman board the train as an announcement was made in what I now know to be German, and immediately sigh, followed by the man next to me rubbing his head.
It took me a solid twenty minutes of trying to load my Google map to no avail, for me to ask him my favorite question, “Do you speak English??”
He then explained how our train was delayed a whole hour. It was during that hour that I really began to ask myself if this was worth it. All I could think about was how I prayed about if I should get on this train or not that very morning. We woke up to the school wifi not working for anyone, making class pretty hard to get through, also meaning I had no ability to update Lizzie about my late arrival that night nor load the maps of the countries I was about to travel through. Packing my backpack, I had a choice to make.
Should I blindly hop on this train I have a ticket for and just believe that I would make it home to Lizzie?… Or should I just stay in my hometown and rest?
Both options had pretty appealing factors.
I could stay comfortable in my own home and continue living my days as I always had, or I could jump on this train and partake in a crazy adventure that could bring me to a place I could call home.
Clearly, I chose the latter. My solo travel adventure showed me a picture of life as a whole. There were so many moments during that weekend that brought me so much joy: the beautiful train ride, trying new foods, spending quality time with a good friend! But there were also moments where I felt utter defeat and fear. Moments where I was about ready to give up. I was running through almost abandoned train stations at one a.m. in the middle of snowy Switzerland, without any means of contacting my friends if I was in danger. Being fully aware that I had class the next morning, I was told in Austria that I might be stuck there for the next five days because I didn’t have the correct forms to re-enter Italy. I accidentally ate things I was allergic to because I didn’t quite understand German, yet I still don’t regret my decision to go.
I think we can all agree that life is a constant cycle of the ups and downs. You will always have things that will bring you endless amounts of joy and you will always encounter trials so hard you will want to run away forever. The more you try to control aspects of your life, the easier it is to realize how out of control we actually are. I firmly believe one of the most important questions one could ask themself is what they think about when they think about God. It’s a question I think not alot of people realize the weight to. To some, it may just seem like a question they don’t necessarily need to answer, because they’ve lived a life that has felt comfortable and sufficient for what they’ve known up to this point. Answering that question means vulnerability, with uncomfortability to follow. Before choosing to follow Jesus, I felt these exact things. The life of a Christian from an outsider looked like a bunch of rules that sucked the fun out of life. I didn’t want to have to miss out on it all.
But one day, I was tired of accepting that this was all there was to life, and I decided to jump on that train. I just finished reading the book, When Strivings Cease, by Ruth Chou Simons. In it, she wrote this one thing that has stuck with me ever since: “the good life isn’t the absence of heartache. it’s the presence of God, by grace.” One of the biggest things that changed in my life when I jumped on the train and accepted the gospel, was that I had a relationship with a God who loves me deeply and is always near. One who listens to my struggles, sees my tears, and knows me better than anyone ever will. Jumping on the train that lead to Jesus, gifted me full access to the presence of God. It is in God’s presence that genuine peace and rest is found.
In His presence, there is fullness of joy.
PSALM 16:11
I have a place I can run to when I am scared, and someone who can bring me joy even in the trials so hard I want to run away. By walking daily with the Lord in prayer and the Word, it points you towards His promises that cannot be shaken: a kind of confidence that cannot be messed with. Life itself did not get any easier, but it’s become a whole lot sweeter because I have my God to help me walk through it.
He knows every single thing on your heart and mind and sent His own Son to take your place on the cross to rescue you… to bring you home. While life before Jesus may feel full of comfort and peace, the truth of the matter is there will always be something more. We were brought into this world with a God-sized hole in our hearts. A hole that can only be filled with a constant flow of grace and love that is found in Him.
There is a Holy God who has offered you a ticket to come home to Him, despite your broken and sinful self. It’s a ticket that anyone who recognizes they have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God has access to. One that has already been paid for by the work of Jesus on the cross. He has freely gifted us a chance to see Him again in Heaven, but the only way you’ll ever be on the road home is if you accept the ticket and believe that Jesus already paid the price. At the end of your life, you’ll be more than grateful you chose to jump on the train over staying home.
On one of my train transfers in between Milan and my hometown, I started walking towards a part of the train I didn’t realize was first-class. This one lady walked up to me after watching me lug my 150 pounds of luggage behind me and said, “Ma’am… this is first class only.” I couldn’t help but laugh, imagining how she deciphered that simply from my appearance. But a beautiful truth about the gospel is that the Lord would never look at you and your baggage and not let you on the train. Our God is one who fully loves and accepts anyone who chooses Him, despite our pasts. Life with Jesus is a precious gift for anyone who wants to accept it.
everything in between 